Claywoman's Lodgings - Tribute to Tinka, My Birth Mother

TINKA, I HARDLY KNEW YOU...

Claywoman

Today reality set in,
I've lost both of my mothers.
One who raised me and the other,
The one that gave me life.

I had so many questions
Now will go unanswered for I've no one to ask.
What is your favorite color?
Do you like to watch sunsets over the ocean?

You gave me life, you gave me who I am.
You gave me courage to do what I think is right.
You also gave me my brothers and sisters.
I'm glad you got to meet all of us.

I miss the years we spent apart,
However hard my childhood was,
Your life was harder.
I never had to make the decisions you made.

I don't know if I'd had your strength, your courage.
I don't know if I ever will
But I will strive to make you proud of me.
I will carry with me pride in family

So rest gentle spirit, you deserve it.
You are free of earthly pain,
Earthly cares and you know we will be fine.
You met us all and you approved.

Oh Tinka, I hardly knew you!
I weep for what I missed and will miss,
But I will see you in my heart standing strong,
Standing tall, standing in peace.

This next poem is a death song. In traditional beliefs, you compose a song
that is told to all. These poems are given to you by the person who died,
the words are in your heart for all to hear. Being Native American is
important to me, it is who I am and what I will always be, and my
traditional beliefs are equally important. This poem is what my mother's
spirit told me shortly after she died and I want to share the words.

SHE WALKS IN WONDER

Claywoman

She awoke in the light,
The sun shining softly in her face.
She wondered where she was
But she knew she was safe.

She smelled the sweet grass surrounding her,
Saw the sunny greeting of the flowers in this meadow.
She eased her way upward,
Sitting first and feeling no pain.

She looked at her hands and they were young.
She looked at her body and it was young.
She stood slowly reveling in its lightness.
She felt at peace.

She remembered why she was here,
But that remembrance brought no tears, she was too happy.
She was free, she was alive, she felt good.
So she started walking for the first time forever.

She saw others doing as she did
The sweetness of the air revived her and made her strong.
She looked at the flowers and felt glad.
She felt the warmth of the light and continued her journey.

She saw familiar faces eager to greet her.
She ran to them to be embraced by the others.
She again felt their love and caring.
She was home.

She turned around and looked at what's past.
She saw her family surrounding her,
She saw their pain, and tried to tell them about her peace.
She comforted them the best she could.

But one circle ended and another begins.
And she turned from the past to face her future.
She knew she would visit her family
Any time someone needed her

But she looked forward and walked away,
Knowing her circle began again
she could rest at last.
In the warmth of love and freedom of the meadow.